PTSD from narcissistic abuse

Post-traumatic stress syndrome isn't just experienced by veterans. Victims of domestic dispute and abuse often experience post-traumatic stress syndrome as well. Especially long-term abuse. Figuring out what triggers these experiences in dealing with them properly can make a big difference. Simple things such as loud noises, flashbacks or even smells, can be a trigger causing post-traumatic stress syndrome. Panic and anxiety attacks are also common. Always being on high alert looking for the danger the fight or flight syndrome. Long-term abuse can also cause physical symptoms as well. Headaches stomach aches, inability to sleep well, nightmares and physical aches and pains.

    Psychological Trauma from abuse doesn't just go away. You can't just block it out or sweep it under a rug. This type of trauma can cause long lasting post-traumatic stress disorder, also known as PTSD. (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome)

      Narcissistic abuse is overwhelming and is usually only identified after years of abuse, as victims tend to blame themselves and not get the help that they need. If it's not addressed and works through, a person with PTSD can suffer years and years after the relationship and trauma has ended. Studies have proven in my experience has shown that if a person doesn't properly heal, the chances of entering another toxic relationship is great. However with proper therapy and self-care one can learn to see signs of toxic people, avoid them, and have a happy healthy long relationship. But you have to take care of YOU first.  

    The aftermath of abuse of any kind can be overwhelming. You don't have to work through this kind of trauma alone, finding the right help is key. Find a counselor you mesh with and one that works good with you.

     Here is a list of some of the after effects someone may expirence after long time narcissist abuse. 

    The aftermath of abuse of any kind can be overwhelming. You don't have to work through this kind of trauma alone, finding the right help is key. Find a counselor you mesh with and one that works good with you.

     The effects of PTSD from abuse trauma isn't much different than trauma experienced by a war vet. The reality is, you were in a war too, just a different type of war. So to think we are equipped to handle dramatic trauma any better or differently than a vet is silly thinking. An abuse Victim needs just as much healing and therapy as anyone else suffering from a traumatic event. There is a ton of great counselors out there and since covid the online resources have doubled. 

     Reconnect with friends and family from before the abuse. They can be a huge part of getting your old life back. The life where you can remember being free to do as you please, without the feeling of fear or worry of what your abuser might say or do.

You can recover from Narcissistic Abuse

Addiction and Narcissism, My name is Christina, and I was addicted to prescription pain medication for about 12 years. Fighting addiction and a narcissist is a nightmare no one should have to face.  If it wasn't for suboxone I probably would not be here today. That medication has been a lifesaver for me and has cut me clean for almost 6 years. About halfway into my addiction I ended up in a relationship with someone at that time I didn't know but ended up being a narcissist. By the time I realized that he was in fact a narcissist I had already alienated all my family and friends, and my life was about him and drugs. My pain was real and I had had a back surgery in January of 2018. After my back surgery I decided it was time for a change, and I got on a suboxone program and got off the pain medications. And I've never looked back. I only wish it was that easy with a narcissist. My narcissist is my one and only trigger, luckily I've never acted on the trigger however there have been so many times that I have had the thoughts go through my head of using, luckily either this Suboxone or my own willpower has kept me on the right path. But it has not been easy. Never knowing when or what might set your narcissist off is like a constant earthquake, well maybe not earthquake but aftershocks. Never knowing when or what might make it shake always on edge and ready to brace. I've just recently realized that this isn't life and this is not no way to live. But it's not making the situation any better because he is now realizing that I realize, so now I'm even more on eggshells worried about when or if he may just throw me out on a whim. Having a constant fear of being homeless is crazy and can literally drive you crazy. So I'm constantly trying to balance keeping him at a decent level of not being angry but not constantly pleasing him either, just enough to keep him satisfied so that he isn't down my throat all the time, in the meantime I'm doing everything I can to prepare a safe Escape for me and my dog. With the cost of living so high I'm going to have to find an alternative to living on my own, roommate or roommates, or possibly just renting a room from someone who will allow my dog as well. I will just keep working writing blogging content creating and anything else I can do to make some money and earned a life for myself. One that I deserve and that I've earned and that I'm capable of creating I just got to work on it. I thank anyone who is read any of my blogs and I only help that it can help someone in the future get out of the same situation I'm in or who never get into the situation that I am in. If you are in serious danger there is always help 24 hours a day 7 days a week just called the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799- 7233 or you can text START to 88788.

About the writer: 

Name: Christina

Age: 46

Sign: Scorpio

Lives: Washington State

Hobbies: Writing, crafting, designing Jewelry and working on learning to love myself again!

Eggshells and first steps

It's hard to not be on eggshells when you're living with someone that's a narcissist. Their mind changes on a daily whim. Example why are you saving those we don't need to save those he says. 2 days later why are you throwing those away do you know how expensive those are he says. Between that and everything always having to be their way when they want it how they want it. So it never fails when I'm in the middle of doing something, usually reading or something that takes my brain power. Any person can see I'm in the middle of something, so every time like clockwork that's when he decides to talk to me about a football play or to show me a stupid picture on his YouTube page, things that he knows because I told him I do not care about nor do I wish to fill my brain up with such stupid shit. I only have so much space in my brain I'm not using it for trivial things. And I should be able to be interested in whatever I want, not only because he wants me to be. Everybody should be entitled to their own wants needs beliefs dreams and opinions. When all of those things start being controlled by what somebody else wants for you, you're no longer living your life. You're living your life for someone else or the way someone else wants you to, that is not living. I spent so much time and so many years sticking up,  lying, and covering for him.  Turning myself into something I'm not for him. Waiting on him hand and foot, giving up relationships and time with friends and family because of him. Never having money or access to money and having to beg for basic needs.  Learning coping mechanisms for ways to deal with his constant anger. Self-diagnosing and self-medicating, and feeling alone with no one left to reach out to. All these things have led to so much resentment, and downright hatred it's hard to even sit in the same room with the person. So after 13 plus years of not being able to have a job, I put my foot down and got a job. Due to not working for so long I had a really hard time finding anybody to hire me, my ex sister-in-law works at Wendy's and she was able to get me a job there. It's something and you got to start somewhere. I don't mind starting back down at the bottom because I know I won't be there long. This is just the start of my journey as I learn to get back on my own two feet, gain independence and hopefully learn to love myself again. I know this is going to be a long journey but I also know that no one can do this for me. My biggest fear is just ending up homeless. 

   I'm writing this blog about my journey in hopes to help other women who might be in the same situation that I am and use my struggle as courage to get out of whatever toxic situation. Ultimately I'd like to make it easier for women in these situations to get out of these situations. If I would have had more support or more resources I wouldn't have been forced to stay as long as I stayed. But then again I always came up with a reason.  If you or someone you know needs immediate help or are in danger you can contact the national Domestic Violence hotline 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 or text STOP to 88788. There is always someone there that can help!