Addiction and Narcissism, My name is Christina, and I was addicted to prescription pain medication for about 12 years. Fighting addiction and a narcissist is a nightmare no one should have to face. If it wasn't for suboxone I probably would not be here today. That medication has been a lifesaver for me and has cut me clean for almost 6 years. About halfway into my addiction I ended up in a relationship with someone at that time I didn't know but ended up being a narcissist. By the time I realized that he was in fact a narcissist I had already alienated all my family and friends, and my life was about him and drugs. My pain was real and I had had a back surgery in January of 2018. After my back surgery I decided it was time for a change, and I got on a suboxone program and got off the pain medications. And I've never looked back. I only wish it was that easy with a narcissist. My narcissist is my one and only trigger, luckily I've never acted on the trigger however there have been so many times that I have had the thoughts go through my head of using, luckily either this Suboxone or my own willpower has kept me on the right path. But it has not been easy. Never knowing when or what might set your narcissist off is like a constant earthquake, well maybe not earthquake but aftershocks. Never knowing when or what might make it shake always on edge and ready to brace. I've just recently realized that this isn't life and this is not no way to live. But it's not making the situation any better because he is now realizing that I realize, so now I'm even more on eggshells worried about when or if he may just throw me out on a whim. Having a constant fear of being homeless is crazy and can literally drive you crazy. So I'm constantly trying to balance keeping him at a decent level of not being angry but not constantly pleasing him either, just enough to keep him satisfied so that he isn't down my throat all the time, in the meantime I'm doing everything I can to prepare a safe Escape for me and my dog. With the cost of living so high I'm going to have to find an alternative to living on my own, roommate or roommates, or possibly just renting a room from someone who will allow my dog as well. I will just keep working writing blogging content creating and anything else I can do to make some money and earned a life for myself. One that I deserve and that I've earned and that I'm capable of creating I just got to work on it. I thank anyone who is read any of my blogs and I only help that it can help someone in the future get out of the same situation I'm in or who never get into the situation that I am in. If you are in serious danger there is always help 24 hours a day 7 days a week just called the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799- 7233 or you can text START to 88788.
About the writer:
Name: Christina
Age: 46
Sign: Scorpio
Lives: Washington State
Hobbies: Writing, crafting, designing Jewelry and working on learning to love myself again!
